Coming Out... as a Gamer

I started online gaming regularly in 1999 when Asheron's Call first made it's awesome appearance.  Since then, much of my free time has been devoted to exploring these online worlds (If interested, I list most of what I've played in my profile); and yet -- until very recently -- when I was asked what I like to do for fun, I shied away from the most honest and obvious answer which is, "I play games!"

I have only "come out" as a gamer over this past year.  I think that part of the reason I stayed in the gaming closet (Woah, now I am totally thinking how awesome an actual Gaming Closet could be!) for so long is that -- much like other geek-ish hobbies -- if you don't partake yourself, you probably won't "get it."  I got tired of trying to explain what these games were and why an adult would spend time playing them.  I also heard so many negative comments from family and friends regarding the gaming habits of my partners that I was eventually pushed into denial and hiding.

I've spent most of my real life being a very open, unabashed sort of girl -- if I want pink hair, then I dye it pink! -- and that's the place where I am most comfortable:  The place where my opinion of myself matters the most.  When I realized that my discomfort over being honest about this topic was affecting how I was feeling about myself, I knew something had to change.  Hiding such a big part of me for so long had frayed the edges of my self-esteem.  I think that my unconscious logic went something like this:  If gaming is something that needs to be hidden, then it must somehow be shameful, and if I am partaking in something shameful, then I am less valuable as a person.  I obviously had to evaluate what gaming was to me, if it was worth the "shame" that I (and others) were assigning it, and what to do about it all.

My conclusion actually took a very short amount of time when I thought on it all logically and compared my hobby to other hobbies.  My hours gaming are no more wasted, silly or harmful than the hours that people spend doing most other non-essential activities.  Hobbies are meant to be activities that pass the time while making us happy; and gaming makes me happy!

Now I am OUT as the proud gamer geek girl that I am.  I no longer try to blend in like this..

... and it's made me a happier gamer and person for it.  It's also made me want to blog about it all, so YOU get to reap the rewards, too! *wink*

Sometimes I still get confused looks or laughter when I mention that my alter-ego is a lvl 75 Elven Hunter, but I no longer let it affect me negatively.  Most people have some sort of activity that they partake in that is non-essential to their survival, and that's okay.  Instead of feeling shameful for time potentially wasted, I now feel grateful for having a life where I'm afforded the time and resources to have as much fun as I do!